Your Body Is Your Weapon: The Wellness Habits That Build Energy, Strength & Longevity with Shelly Jefferis

0:01 SPEAKER_01: Hey friends, what if I told you that your business or its mission isn't the problem, but that your funnel system to it is. If people are listening, watching, and engaging, but they're not taking the next step, you have a conversion problem. This October, I'm opening 10 seats inside my funnel body build for podcast hosts and entrepreneurs ready to fix that. One month, one blueprint, one transformation. Follow the Warriors Haven podcast on social media because you're gonna want one of these seats with me.

0:44 SPEAKER_01: But for today's mission, let's dive into the episode.

0:58 SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Warriors Haven podcast, the place where discipline meets purpose and everyday people become unstoppable. I'm your host, Jaisha Sutherland, a retired Army drill sergeant, single mom, and the founder of the Warriors Haven. Around here, we talk fitness, mindset, and the mission of building a stronger you mentally, physically, and financially. Because this isn't just about the gym. It's about life, leadership, and living on your terms. So gear up, lock in, and let's step into the haven where warriors are made.

2:02 SPEAKER_01: Because here's the truth. Most people don't think about their health until something goes wrong. They don't think about their energy until they're exhausted. They don't think about their muscles until they're losing strength. They don't think about their recovery until their body forces them to stop. And they don't think about longevity until they're suddenly asking, what happened to my body? But today's guest has spent decades studying and teaching the opposite approach. She has spent more than 35 years in health and wellness, holds a master's degree in kinesiology, is a retired college professor, speaker, coach, and entrepreneur.

2:45 SPEAKER_01: And she's also the host of the incredible Words of Wellness with Shelly podcast. She's also the founder of Moms Who Flourished, a community built around helping mothers prioritize their wellness, self-care, and personal growth. So today we're going to talk about something I think every person listening needs to hear. How do we stop treating wellness like something we do when we have time and start treating it like the foundation that allows us to live the life we want? Miss Shelley, welcome to the Warriors Haven podcast.

3:22 SPEAKER_03: Thank you, Jay. What an amazing intro. That was incredible. Thank you so much.

3:28 SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, for somebody with a background like yours, that was pretty easy to write.

3:34 SPEAKER_03: Well, and you just so many things just, I just, it just touches my heart because I feel so strongly, and I guess it's why I do what I do, but I feel so strongly about sharing that message that let's not wait until we have symptoms. Let's not wait until we're not feeling good or not having the energy or something goes wrong or we get that diagnosis. No, let's take steps now and do what we can that's in our control. I always will say whatever we can do that's in our control, because so much is not in our control and not in our hands to be able to make changes and take the steps to make good, healthy choices for ourselves and our health and for now into the future.

4:16 SPEAKER_01: No, for sure. 1000%. So, Ms. Shelley, we're gonna dive into this episode. And I'm really excited because I'm gonna I'm gonna put you in the hot seat here. But you've been in the health and wellness space for more than three decades. You've watched trends come and go, you've helped uh people move from one diet to another, one workout to another, one wellness philosophy to another. So after more than 35 years of experience, what do you believe people are getting fundamentally wrong about wellness?

4:47 SPEAKER_03: Ooh, so I would say one of the big things right now, currently, is I think a lot of individuals are getting their information from those who might not be qualified to give it. And without stepping on any toes, there are a lot of people out there, like on social media, that might be sharing something. Maybe they're sharing a product and on the back end, they're getting paid for it, which is totally fine, or they're sharing something that worked for them. And so now this, you know, the person that hears it and sees their success wants to try it.

5:23 SPEAKER_03: And maybe it's not the healthiest way to go, maybe the not the most sustainable. So I think the big thing right now, currently, is where are we getting our information and what are we following? And does it make sense? Is it too good to be true? And is it is it healthy? Is it okay? Is it good for you? And can you sustain it? And is it going to last years down the road? And I think that's really the biggest key right now is being cautious of where people are getting their information.

5:58 SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, that's powerful. And I I I agree because there is so much going around that, you know, you really just gotta be really careful. So if you could go back and teach your younger self one wellness lesson that you know now, what would it be?

6:19 SPEAKER_03: I think it would probably be keeping things simple. And it's easier said than done. And also it's easier said when you're older and wiser, you realize it does not have to be so complicated. I don't have to spend two, three hours in the gym. However, back in the day, when I had the time to do that and I would teach a class and I would work out and socialize, that was part of my routine, right? I didn't have a family yet, and I had the time to do that. And so I don't want to say that, you know, I regret that because I don't at all, but I do think that that's one thing I would probably tell my younger self that, hey, look, you don't have to work so hard, but when we're younger, that's kind of the mindset we're in.

7:04 SPEAKER_03: And we feel like we need to, right? And I and I again, going back to uh the age aspect, I think that's just with the age comes the wisdom, and you realize it doesn't have to be so strenuous and so complicated. However, you know, talking to someone like yourself, because I know you are very, very fit and you've gone through a lot with your background. It's not to say we can't challenge ourselves. It's not to say we can't do those, you know, rate road races or those competitions or whatever it might be, because it's great for us if it's something that we so desire or if it's a requirement for our job.

7:41 SPEAKER_03: But I think if we look at the whole picture and if we're just wanting to stay healthy and in shape, uh, it can be a lot more simple than we make it.

7:51 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that. I love that. And yes, you know, I think based on where you are in your life, the season that you're in in your life is is gonna depict as well, right? We have seasons where we got to do a little bit more in that season, and then there's seasons where you don't got to do so much. But I think just like you said, as we get older, we can identify when we got to do a little bit more and when we can kind of keep some of it back. Um, and so, Michelle, here's something I see all the time.

8:18 SPEAKER_01: People know that they should exercise, they know that they should eat better, they know they need to sleep, they know they need to manage stress, but knowing doesn't automatically create the behavior. From your experience as an educator and wellness professional, why is there such a huge gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it?

8:41 SPEAKER_03: I think the huge gap comes really ultimately from our mental state. Not that we're not mentally stable, but I really think that our mindset and our mental focus and and also having the confidence to know, hey, I can do this, and and sticking with it till we get to get to reach our goals. I I believe that happens across the board, whether it's fitness, wellness, a business. It can be challenging to stick with it if we're not seeing results right away. Because again, going back to kind of how society is now, we want that weight to to drop off yesterday, last week, last month, last year, right?

9:25 SPEAKER_03: And so it's it's that quick fix that's really not realistic. And so I think one thing is that we give up too quickly. And that comes back to that mindset piece. And I also believe another really big part of this, and I guess that this also relates to business, is having that why. I know we hear about this a lot. What is your why? But if we really zone in on that and think about it and go, okay, why do I want to release 25 pounds? Why do I want to be healthy 10, 20, 30 years from now? What is that?

10:00 SPEAKER_03: What does that look like? And being able to focus on that and and maybe have someone who's an accountability partner to help you stay on track, also. And I know for me personally, you know, I have we have three grown children. They're not married yet, but gosh, I want to be around for many years to come to be around them, to be around their grandkids, to be able to run around with my grandkids. I mean, that's where I'm at at my stage of life, in addition to feeling good and having energy on a day-to-day basis and being able to function in a healthy manner and do all those activities that we we sit called daily activities of daily living, and also having that independence as we get older.

10:39 SPEAKER_03: So I think that mental peace, I really believe the mindset is the biggest obstacle for people. And if we can focus in and really focus on why we're doing what we're doing and get a game plan. And also, I talk about this a lot as well, having small steps daily. If we try and look at the entire mountain to climb in one in one day, we're gonna probably fail and give up. So if we can take one step, two steps every day a little bit further to teach reaching our goals, then that is very, very beneficial.

11:18 SPEAKER_03: And I think that's a really big part of this as well is consistency is key. Taking small steps daily so that they become habits is key. But we don't want to bite off too much, more than we can chew, and then we get discouraged and we give up. So it's that fine line of just taking small steps daily that will that will add up over time.

11:39 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that. I love that. Thank you so much for giving that bit of piece of advice there. And I want to ask you, Miss Shelley, what would you tell the person who has tried 20 times, failed 20 times, and now believes they're simply not disciplined enough?

11:58 SPEAKER_03: I would probably try and dissect that a little bit and dig a little bit deeper as to what might be the reason. And I will give you an example. I was on the phone with a friend of mine who has also been a client of mine off and on through the years. And she was, we were reconnecting because she wanted to get back on track with her nutrition program that I was helping her with. And she says, I just keep, you know, fluctuating. I get off track and then I get back on, I get off track. And I said, Do you do you kind of know why?

12:32 SPEAKER_03: Do you know, have any idea why? And she says, Yes, I actually do, but I I'm not I'm not comfortable to share about it just yet. And I was like, oh, okay, so now we're getting somewhere. There's something a little bit deeper, right? Which is I totally respect the fact she was like not ready to share, but I still get chills when I talk about it because I'm like, okay, there's something more there that went on that has impacted her, you know, mentally, but also her physical health through all these years.

13:04 SPEAKER_03: So somehow getting to the bottom of that, we might not always know. And I'm listening I'm I'm not a psychologist or a mental health provider. I just see a lot of this in a lot of my clients and students. And I think that just being there and listening and being compassionate and talking to them and helping them understand why, and then helping them through that process, I think is the best that we can do.

13:33 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that. And I have to agree, you know, now in the podcast seat that I'm I'm in with the Warriors Haven podcast, you know, so many similar conversations that kind of come up. And, you know, I dip into some of the nutrition and fitness still because of my background being in the military. Um, but you know, for me, it's I have to ask, you know, the environment. You know, it's one of my newer questions starting to ask, you know, and I think so many people don't really pay attention to your environment, your literally your day-to-day.

14:05 SPEAKER_01: And I think that has such a huge part to do with starting and stopping, you know, going and stopping. And when you I think you are able to kind of peel back the onion a little bit, you kind of, like you said, you kind of start getting to what the root causes of a lot of things are. And of course, with your level of expertise, three plus decades in this field, there's a lot of things that you see that repeat over time, whether it's, you know, a 40-year-old, a 50-year-old, or a 22-year-old, you start seeing a lot of the same patterns.

14:36 SPEAKER_01: Um, and it's just so fascinating. So, Michelle, you've talked about preparing your body for over the next 30 years instead of just the next 30 days. I love that because it completely changes the conversation. Instead of asking, how much weight can I lose? We're asking, what kind of body do I want to have 10, 20, or 30 years from now? So let's make this practical. What should someone listening today start doing now if they want their future body to still be strong, mobile, energetic, and independent decades from now?

15:11 SPEAKER_03: Oof. Okay, strength training, I would say number one, maintain that muscle, maintain that muscle strength. And that's a big one, especially like I say, with the age factor. We start to lose muscle mass starting like age 40 and beyond. That that it's called sarcopenia, where the muscle starts to decrease. We can counteract that, but we have to work on it. And I'm very grateful that this has been my kind of my mission, but this has been a part of my life for so many years. So I have worked out, I have lifted weights, and I still encourage others to lift and lift, but lift heavy, especially when you're over 40.

15:46 SPEAKER_03: You have to challenge those muscles. A little five-pound weight is probably not gonna be enough. That's what you need to do. So that's really important. The strength, the muscle is so important. The muscle helps with uh your not just the muscle strength, but your bone strength with balance, um, with mobility, with metabolism, with your brain health. I mean, there's so many benefits. And then nourish yourself, nourish your body. What are you doing for new nutrition? And again, I will also always say we're not looking for perfection here, but we want to think about 80% of the time, what are we doing?

16:21 SPEAKER_03: How are we fueling our body? So if you're picking out your meals for the week, think about okay, what's going to best fuel my body? What's going to provide the most nourishment? I want to say stop thinking about the calories. Some people might not agree with that, but forget that for now. Think about what has the most nutrition for my body here and now. And that's a really, really important part of this. In addition to moving your body, getting the proper sleep, quality sleep is huge. And then another big factor is managing our stress.

16:56 SPEAKER_03: And I've talked about this for years too, where we can't escape the stress. And we all have it. And even if it's a positive stress, like an exciting thing, that's still our body's still going to respond physiologically in the same way. So we have the positive stress, we have the negative stress. So we combine those two and we have stressors that come on in our lives, and we have to be able to manage that stress so it doesn't become chronic and it doesn't take over our lives and doesn't lead to future illnesses.

17:28 SPEAKER_03: Um, it's so key. And so I think for people that can look different for a lot of people, but I was just sharing this on another podcast the other day is finding what you can do to kind of calm your nervous system. What are some things you can do on a daily basis? I mean, the exercise is huge, quiet time is huge, taking some, you know, meditate, prayer time, nighttime, maybe you drink some tea, you take a bath, whatever it is you can do on a routine basis that kind of gives you a little bit of that downtime because that is that is so key.

18:01 SPEAKER_03: Because then when we're faced with the stress, we don't overreact as much as if we weren't taking that time to kind of self-regulate.

18:10 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that. And I think, you know, it's so important. Every single piece that you just said, for us that are looking into the future with our bodies, you're making those deposits now. You know, every single day you're making those deposits into what your body when you're 60, when you're 70, when you're 80, is going to look like. So, you know, I love that you you touched on the piece of the nutrition. You have to know what fuels your body. And I've said it quite a bit on the Warriors Haven podcast.

18:39 SPEAKER_01: Um, but I just appreciate you also highlighting that um with what you were just telling us, because everybody's body is different. And so a plate of veggies for me is gonna look very different than what a plate of veggies for you is gonna do. And my body's gonna optimize those veggies very differently than you than yours, you know? And so I think as people educate themselves on their body, then they'll be able to make those smart adjustments and those uh implementations that need to happen when they need to happen.

19:09 SPEAKER_01: So, Michelle, what are the things that people overlook because they're chasing fast results?

19:22 SPEAKER_03: I think that again, kind of going back to the the the what's sustainable, you know, you can you can go after those fast results, you can release that weight, lose that weight in a short amount of time, but chances are it's gonna come back. So I think I think we get so caught up in this quick fix and getting things done quickly, and we want the results now. And and I get it, it's hard to focus and be patient. I I understand, right? I mean, taking the time and knowing that it's gonna take a good amount of time to really get to where you want to be with your health goals, but it's not impossible.

20:01 SPEAKER_03: And it doesn't have to take forever. But what if we take the steps and realize that what we do now and keeping it sustainable, then it's going to last. When we do something fast, it's not going to last. And I think that that's really the key is knowing that again, I mean, I I know, you know, we want we want things to happen fast. I totally get that. And it I, you know, it's hard to stop people from doing that, right? They're like, no, no, I want to do what I'm gonna do and I want my results and I want them now.

20:35 SPEAKER_03: And and so people will do pretty extreme things. And I'm always the one on the sideline going, oh, cringing because I kind of have an idea of what it could do to them and their health, or it's like, yeah, but what's gonna happen, you know, two, three, four, five months, a year down the road. So there's that. And I again, when someone gets really zeroed in, it's hard to change their mind. I mean, I have a good friend who very, very strong keto follows follows that. And um, and there was a time there where she was struggling with her energy and her weight and not feeling good.

21:14 SPEAKER_03: And I was like, maybe you want to adjust this a little bit and try something a little different. And for some people it works, and I'm not knocking it entirely. It's just, I think, take a step back and go, okay, maybe I need to adjust this a little bit. Because again, I always look at, okay, how are you feeling? Like, what's your energy like? Yes, we need to kind of know our weight, of course, and our our cholesterol levels and get get our labs done and do all of that and know where we're at with our overall health.

21:43 SPEAKER_03: But sometimes there are those that still focus too much on the scale, you know, or focus too much on how they're looking. And that's important, but how are we feeling? And how, again, going back to it, how is your sleep? How do you sleep? How are your workouts? How is your energy? You know, I think it's Like we've we forget sometimes to look at that whole big picture. And again, that's what's gonna really pay off now and later on into the future.

22:11 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that. You know, for me, when I kind of get into some of these deeper conversations, and I know you'll you'll agree with me here. Um, it's I I have to remind a lot of friends in the space. Um, you know, you're you're going after this trend or you're going after this thing, but I always bring it back to nature. Understand we have four seasons in the year for a reason. We don't stay in summer all year, right? So understand that whatever you're in, it might just be for a period of time because look at our world and the seasons in our world, they're only for that season, right?

22:50 SPEAKER_01: So, you know. Something to kind of take away, right? And just that little nugget that I like to drop from time to time. Take it or leave it, whatever you want to do. I like it. I like it. But Miss Shelley, I want to talk about something I think gets misunderstood, especially by women, and it's muscle. A lot of people hear muscle and immediately think I'm trying to lose weight, or I don't want to get bulky. But we're talking about muscle as something much bigger than appearance. Why should someone care about maintaining and building muscle even if they don't care about looking muscular?

23:28 SPEAKER_03: So this is such a great topic. And I used to share with my students all of the time because I would tell them, I said, look, especially for women, we don't have the hormones in us to get bulky. Now, you do see women, female bodybuilders, but they put tons, and you know this, but they put tons of effort into it, right? Yeah. Hours in the gym. So I would tell my students, you don't have to worry about it. You want to lift heavier, you want to gain that muscle, and it's again going to pay off later on.

24:01 SPEAKER_03: And we don't always think about later on when we're in our, you know, 20 early 20s or what have you. But for women specifically, we just don't have the hormones to get bulky. And if again, when it comes to working out, the the muscle is really key. And in the cardiovascular exercise is important, stretching is important. However, when you look at what's going to provide the best payoff now and later, it's having that muscle and that strength training. And again, lifting heavy where you're challenging those muscles because that's what's going to really be so beneficial in the long run and long term.

24:43 SPEAKER_03: And I know that was always kind of a concern about the getting bulky. I've heard that concern over the years. And I always just try and like ease the minds, especially of the women, that that's just not going to happen. And then you have, you do have a couple will that they will say, Well, I bulk up really easily. I'm like, okay, hmm, I don't know. I mean, I guess that could be possible, but it's still necessary to have that muscle tissue. And another thing I used to tell them, I said, we would also do a body fat testing at the college.

25:16 SPEAKER_03: And I says, Listen, this is just a tool. And this particular testing we do, I mean, it could be accurate, maybe it's within one to three percent margin of error. That doesn't really matter to me personally. What matters is looking at your progress. And I would always try to impress upon them that you might gain a pound or two, but if your body fat goes down, that means you gained muscle. And that's like super exciting. So helping people understand that point sometimes is is a tough one, right? Because we've been kind of conditioned to just look at the scale, the number on the scale.

25:54 SPEAKER_03: And that just doesn't give the whole picture.

25:57 SPEAKER_01: That's so, so true. So I want to dip into this real quick, and I want you to share with all of our friends all over the world what does muscle actually give us as we age? Oh my gosh.

26:09 SPEAKER_03: So it gives us, okay, so they're not just the physicality, so it helps with our physical appearance, but it's going to protect our bones, it's going to help with our movement, it's going to also help us with later on if we are at risk of falling, let's say. And we hear that a lot in the older population. And if you have the strength, one, you can hopefully prevent yourself from that fall. Secondly, if you do fall, you have a less chance of getting injured. So if I'm strong and I have muscle and my muscles strong, my bones are strong, okay, then then you have a less chance of falling and breaking a bone if you've been exercising and keeping that muscle strong.

26:59 SPEAKER_03: And so it's just so key. And then also for our metabolism. And then earlier, when I said brain, your brain health, it helps with all of that.

27:09 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that. I love that. So I'm gonna go ahead and do a quick little bridge for us here. Um, you can then say, because the way I'm hearing this is that muscle isn't just about aesthetics, it's about having the ability to carry your groceries, get up from the floor, climb stairs, travel, play with your kids, and maintain just a little level of independence. That's strongly aligned with what Ms. Shelley's uh recent longevity content really does cover, also. Current CDC guidance recommends adults include muscle strengthening activity at least two days per week alongside the aerobic activity.

27:48 SPEAKER_01: In the military, this is just a done for you type thing. So here at the Warriors Haven, we talk a lot about energy. And one thing I've learned is that people often treat energy like motivation. They say, I'm tired because I don't feel motivated. But physiologically, energy is much bigger than that. So, Ms. Shelley, when someone tells you I don't have any energy, what are the first things you want them to examine?

28:15 SPEAKER_03: I wanted them, I want them to look at, well, what they're putting in their body would probably be first off, are they drinking enough water? And then also, are they moving their body? Because I know a lot of people will go, oh, I just don't have the energy to work out. Oh, I'm just too tired to go for a walk. Well, I tell you, 99% of the time, unless you're fighting an illness and you maybe you have like, you know, a cold coming on or something like that, 99% of the time you get your body moving, you are going to have more energy.

28:45 SPEAKER_03: It's just, it is what it is, right? It's just, it's how it is. And so I will always say that the exercise is going to, the movement is going to increase your energy. And so that's that's along with what you're putting in your body, and again, keeping the keeping that water intake where it should be is so important as well. But the exercise and getting that movement, getting the heart pump in, lifting the weights, all of those things, you're gonna feel so much better after, and it's actually going to increase your energy.

29:15 SPEAKER_03: And I think that sometimes is a kind of a, I don't know, a misunderstanding where some people might think, well, I don't have the energy, and if I exercise, I'm gonna be more tired. And I'm like, no, it's actually the opposite. You'll find you have more energy from the exercise.

29:33 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that. I love that. Okay, so I'm gonna dig a little deeper because you said nutrition, sleep, the nourishment, you know, your hydration, all of those things are important. So I'm gonna ask you specifically, Ms. Shelley, what would you look at first in a client? Would you look at nutrition first, movement, stress, hydration, or something else for that specific client?

29:56 SPEAKER_03: Ooh, that's such a great question because they're all so important. But I think sometimes I think stress and I'll give you an example. I was talking to someone the other day, and she had a gal that she was sharing a conversation with, and this person had a very high stress job, and she was going to a high energy workout like five or six days a week. And her point was like, you don't need to be doing that. You already have this high stress with your job. Your workout needs to be counteracting that, right?

30:34 SPEAKER_03: Whether it's yoga or walking, whatever out in nature. So I think that stress is such a big component of all of this, because if you you could have the great nutrition, you could be exercising, but if your stress level is off the charts, then you probably aren't sleeping well. And it's just gonna disrupt everything else. So it's kind of like I feel like it spirals, and I just feel like this day and age, um, that really needs to be targeted. So I would probably look at that, even though my, you know, my specialty is in the nutrition and the the sleep and the you know, the exercise.

31:12 SPEAKER_03: I just think stress is such a huge component. And I would probably look at that first. And then nutrition. Nutrition is right up there too. And I think that a lot of people don't realize how much that is going to affect them and their energy and um just on a day-to-day basis. So that's that's huge as well.

31:35 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that. I love that. Yeah, and I have to agree. Um, you know, through all of my research, reading, you know, talking to this the specialists that are in the field, the doctors, the scientists, the, you know, psychologists and everybody, um, and then experts like you as well. Um, you know, you you hear so many different things. And I find it so fascinating that, you know, you would go to stress and and really kind of dissect that and kind of look to see what somebody's kind of dealing with on a day-to-day, because that I feel like there are a lot of answers in the answers that they give on that specific topic.

32:09 SPEAKER_01: For me personally, I would also not only look at the stress factor, I have started looking at environments. Um, you know, I'm not saying, you know, uproot and go live in a new home or, you know, go go up live in a new condo on the other side of town, but look at what your day-to-day environment looks like. And if you can tweak one or two things, just see what the outcome is and then start peeling back the onion and you know, obviously find a coach or someone that's really good in that space to kind of walk you through that as well.

32:39 SPEAKER_01: Um, but that's where I've kind of navigated to as well with some of the friends in the space that I get to talk to. So now, Michelle, I want to ask you, how do we know when we're simply tired from life versus when persistent fatigue is something we could actually talk to a healthcare professional about?

32:59 SPEAKER_03: Ooh, this is great. So I can I can share. I the last couple nights, I mean, I'm usually pretty high energy energy and feeling good, but I'm telling, and it's been hot here more so than normal. So the heat, like you're experiencing, the heat drains me these days. I don't know, I just does. Um, but I also had kind of a full fun weekend. My daughter was in town, so I'm like, okay, I'm kind of coming off the weekend, right? And so I feel like if it lasts, like I it could be like one night or two nights where I'm like by six or seven, I'm like, why am I so tired?

33:35 SPEAKER_03: I think that's okay. But it's when it goes on longer than a couple of days, that's when I would say, look into it. Now, again, maybe it's something that you can adjust on your own. If you take kind of a step back and go, okay, just do like a an overview of what a typical day has looked like over the past week and see, you know, am I getting enough sleep? It's not again perfect over the course of seven days, but on average, how much sleep am I getting? Is it quality sleep? Am I under more stress than normal?

34:10 SPEAKER_03: Because let's face it, if you are experiencing a lot of stress and chronic stress, that definitely starts to make you go, wow, I'm really tired. What is going on? And I and I talk about that when I talk about health and stress, is that over time, that exhaustion mode is something that can happen if you've been experiencing chronic stress. And sometimes we might go, why am I so tired? Well, take a step back and look at your schedule, look at what you're experiencing in your life. Maybe that's contributing.

34:41 SPEAKER_03: So I think just kind of taking an overview of our day-to-day and see if there's something that's off that might be contributing to us feeling that way more so than normal, and look at that first. And then if it's still continual, then that's when I would say look into getting some some maybe a medical check, get maybe some lab work done and just see if there's something more that's going on.

35:07 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that. I love that. Thank you so much for that. And you touched on the next point that I we're gonna dip into, and I'm really excited because I know this is one of your favorite areas to talk about. So this is something that people sacrifice. Sleep. People wear exhaustion almost like a badge of honor. Entrepreneurs do it, parents do it, military people do it, high performers do it, but biologically, our bodies don't necessarily care about our job title. Michelle, what happens when someone consistently cuts sleep short and expects their body and brain to keep performing at a high level?

35:49 SPEAKER_03: I would say it's almost next next to impossible. When we get proper sleep, we need the sleep for our bodies to recover, our muscles to recover, our brains to rest and recover, our cells to repair. I mean, our body is repairing itself while we sleep. So if you think about not getting enough sleep or not getting quality sleep, then our body's not having a chance to repair itself. So we get up the next day and we do our routine all over again. And if if it's continuous, it's gonna compound. And I love it, kind of cracks me up.

36:26 SPEAKER_03: I used to have this thought process, but we can't really catch up on sleep, even though I mean, sometimes it feels like we can't, you know. I think in a temporary once in a while where you maybe have a short night's sleep and the next day you take a little nap. I think that works. But if it's over long periods of time, it's going to take its toll. And I often think of my my dad, and he's no longer, he's no longer living, but he was a professional musician and he also copied music and did musical arrangements.

36:55 SPEAKER_03: And he sometimes would have deadlines where he would stay up all hours of the night. And to be honest, I I'm not saying that's what caused his issues, but he ended up later on in life before he died, diabetes, um high blood pressure. He had a lot of metabolic issues. And I'm sure not getting that sleep for so many years did not help him, right? So I think about that a lot. And it's really key if you just think about what is happening when you sleep and how beneficial it is for your body and the functioning of your body in a healthy manner, but also just to be alert and be able to go about your normal day.

37:41 SPEAKER_03: It's it's critical. And you know, as adults, it's recommended we get seven to nine hours of sleep a night. And whenever I ask my students about their sleep, I am like floored. Now, again, their students, they're holding down jobs, they have schoolwork and maybe families. So their schedules are very, very full. But sometimes I'll be how how many of you are getting seven hours of sleep? A couple, six, a couple, five, a lot of hands go up. Four hours, hands go up. I'm like, I'm like, oh no, no, this is not okay.

38:14 SPEAKER_03: We need to work on our sleep big time. So that's something to really, really kind of like hone in on and really get that dialed in the best that we can. And I, you know, again, I know there are some careers that, you know, they they work night shifts or their lifestyle, or maybe they have a new baby at home, whatever the case may be. Um, you know, those are unique situations. But on the average, right, you really want to prioritize your sleep is really key. And finding a way to get into a routine, a nighttime routine where you can start to kind of calm your body down and prepare for sleep is is really key.

38:55 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I really appreciate you sharing that. Yeah. And, you know, the caveat off of that too, you know, like you said, there's there's specialties and and jobs that require where you kind of your sleep is gonna be impacted. And and the military is one. Um, you know, we we do pull 24 hours, we do pull 48 hours awake. Um, now, you know, we do have some units, if you're lucky. Um, you get little breaks in between, you know, when you're able to kind of have a couple hours where you can kind of take like a cat nap or you know, in a sense.

39:28 SPEAKER_01: But even in the military, we're not pulling 24 and 48 hours consistently. You maybe do it twice a month. Um, some may do it three, you know, the the younger soldiers may have an extra one in there, but for the most part, even the military kind of has that cadence under control as well. Because through the studies, of course, right, they've also understood how important sleep is and for us as soldiers to optimize and be able to perform on the battlefield if you know we're called to do so. So um it's very, very important.

40:02 SPEAKER_01: And I think taking your situation, your particular situation, and applying it to then make these changes for you to get that optimal sleep is very important. And I'm I'm one that I can get four hours of sleep and I'm perfectly fine. You know, I actually operate better with four to five hours than you know, getting a full, you know, eight or nine. And so I think understanding where you are, but when I'm down for those four hours, it's you know, the deep sleep that we can actually get into in a whole nother conversation because I have a whole other topic too.

40:37 SPEAKER_01: Totally. Yes. But Miss Shelly, I do have a question here. What um are your simplest recommendations for someone who says, Shelly, my life is chaotic. I can't create the perfect sleep routine. What would you tell them?

40:54 SPEAKER_03: Hmm. First of all, I would say we're not looking for perfection, but I would say, all right, give me one short little small habit that you can start to incorporate. Maybe you start to go to bed five, 10 minutes earlier than normal. Start to just do little small increments. And again, I mean, I I appreciate having a chaotic life. We all go through those seasons for sure. But almost you need to sleep more than than anyone if your life is chaos, right? You need to have that sleep so your body can like kind of like just rest and and recuperate from the craziness.

41:38 SPEAKER_03: So I would just again, small amounts, like what is it you can do that's maybe gonna be five make a difference of five, 10 minutes? Can you go start going up to bed five, 10 minutes earlier than normal and start to kind of push back the time that you had upstairs and just it takes again, going back to what we were talking about in the earlier, the discipline. It takes the discipline and the commitment. But again, if it's just a little bit of time that's doable, take those little small amounts that you can do that are gonna help you, that are, you know, you can do it.

42:17 SPEAKER_03: Five, 10 minutes. We can we can do anything for five, 10 minutes, right? So I think just making that small adjustment, going to bed a little earlier. And it's again, it's not a big deal, but I think those are the little things that add up. And then they can add to more, you can, you know, again, habits stack onto that as you get that going. Try and maybe push it out a little bit, get to bed maybe 15, 20 minutes earlier, just so you're in, and again, it comes back to that preparation. What can you do?

42:49 SPEAKER_03: Start to prepare for your sleep a little bit earlier than you are now. Because if we head to bed, you know, or brush our teeth, we get all ready to go, and we just jump into bed without any kind of preparation, and our mind is just still buzzing from the day. That's I think what really, really gets us into trouble. So taking that time, sometimes we call it sleep hygiene, where we just start to prepare, whether it's an hour before or two hours before, you know, dim the lights, take a bath, have some tea.

43:21 SPEAKER_03: I think it's Brendan Burchard has his 3, 2, 1 where you, you know, three hours before you don't eat, two hours you put away the screen, you know. So whatever it works for you, I think is important. But just again, it's not meant to add more stress or overwhelm. But if you could just take a little snippet of time and start to push that time back where you're starting to kind of get prepared and ready to go to sleep, so you can hopefully get to sleep maybe a little bit earlier and get a little bit more sleep and sound sleep, going back to your point.

43:54 SPEAKER_03: Hey, if you have quality four or five hours versus disrupted sleep for eight or nine. There's that difference too. So important.

44:04 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that. I love that. And friends, I just want to add this little tidbit here. I talk about it throughout the Warriors Haven podcast, but sleep is very important. It does affect metabolism, mood, cognitive performance, and physical health. And our NIH sources note that inadequate sleep can affect hunger regulation and glucose control. So we're not just harping on getting quality sleep and, you know, driving this in this podcast and then in this episode with Ms. Shelley. There's a lot of science that backs this too.

44:36 SPEAKER_01: And Ms. Shelley, we're getting kind of close here on our time, but I want to talk about one very important thing because it's something that you do talk about on your podcast. And it's simplifying wellness for people. And nutrition is probably one of the most confusing areas. One person says carbs are bad, another says fat is bad, another says we should fast, another says we need six meals, another says we need supplements, another says we need to eliminate everything. So let's cut through the noise.

45:10 SPEAKER_01: If you strip nutrition down to the fundamental principles that most people could actually use, what would you tell them to focus on first? Oof.

45:20 SPEAKER_03: Okay, protein, I would say, because many of us aren't getting enough. And I was just on a call yesterday with our um our exercise physiologist, and he does all kinds of studies in the area of protein and performance and nutrition. And he talks about the morning time, is where you really want to get that protein in because many of us are not getting that in first thing. We're either either one, maybe skipping breakfast, or maybe we're just grabbing a piece of toast out the door, cup of coffee, what have you.

45:55 SPEAKER_03: And it's really recommended that you start in the morning with a good solid 30, 40 grams of protein, and then every four hours have some form of clean, good protein for your body. So, and I say that because again, I know we're hearing a lot about protein, but the prop the issue is that a lot of people aren't getting enough protein. So I just kind of like to stress that. Um, carbohydrates, you know, again, provide us with energy. So I always will say that. I will always come back to that. And that was something that I used to tell my students as well.

46:27 SPEAKER_03: It's like you you could cut if maybe you need to cut cut down on them. I don't know. It depends on how much you're consuming, but I never recommend cutting them out entirely just because they provide us with energy. Now, we can definitely follow the 40, 30, 30 plan when it comes to our protein, carbohydrates, and fat. Again, everybody's body's a little bit different, right? So how they kind of, you know, function is going to also play a role. But I think that's key. Um colorful vegetables, colorful fruits, getting in fiber, again, drinking enough water, and then also consuming those healthy fats and maybe having a little bit of healthy fat with each meal because that's also going to keep us satiated.

47:13 SPEAKER_03: And it's also going to be important for energy and long-term energy. So I think that keeping consistent with meals, and sometimes I know that can be challenging depending on people's schedules, but we we really want to try and not skip meals and do your best with getting something in every three, four hours and having protein with every meal and protein with each snack really will help you reach those grams that your body needs.

47:44 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that. Thank you so much. That's something I harp about quite a bit on the Warriors Haven podcast. It's a topic of conversation. I also have behind the scenes as well with a lot of friends in the space. And before we wrap up, Miss Shellyet, one more thing that I really want to share with our audience and our friends all over the world. You created moms who flourish. And because you saw mothers putting everyone else first and themselves last, I'm a single mom. So I want to ask you to help me unpack this very quickly.

48:18 SPEAKER_01: Self-care is not selfish. Can you answer and help us, like I said, unpack? Why do especially mothers struggle with giving themselves permission to take care of themselves? That's an excellent question.

48:34 SPEAKER_03: I I think I think somewhere along the way, either we we didn't feel that it was necessary, or we we were maybe somewhere along the way thought that it was selfish. And especially when we have children, we think all of our attention needs to go to them. A lot of our attention does. It's a huge responsibility, and nobody's, you know, changing that viewpoint in any way, shape, or form. However, if you are taking care of your family and your children, but you're not taking care of you, it's always, it always comes back to let's fill our cup up first so that we can fill up the cup of others.

49:14 SPEAKER_03: And I will always say that. And again, I know how easy it is to get into that because I was, I mean, I did when my kids were little, you know, three all under age of 10. When you're you're in it, it's very challenging to go, oh shoot, I'm not taking time for me. You get so into that routine and that schedule that we don't always focus on ourselves. And I think that a lot of moms feel that it's selfish. And I think that that message that we tell ourselves, I believe, is is shifting. And I'm I'm working on changing that message where you you need to take care of you and you want to be around for a long time for your for your kids and your family.

50:01 SPEAKER_03: So you need to take care of yourself now, also, rather than just putting everybody else first. And somehow somehow along the way, I think that that maybe became like a badge of honor that, you know, we're doing all this for everybody else. And that's not, I don't, I don't, that's not, I don't think how we were intended to operate in any way, shape, or form, whether we're a mom or not. But we see it more with moms, right? Where we're kind of like put ourselves on the back burner or the sidelines, kids come first.

50:33 SPEAKER_03: Uh, so it's really again trying to simplify what we're doing and emphasize the fact that it doesn't have to take a lot of time, but it is important to take care of you, like first and foremost.

50:48 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that. I love that. All right, Michelle, we're gonna end with rapid fire. So I'm gonna put you here in this hot seat. Short answers, big wisdom.

50:58 SPEAKER_00: One wellness habit everyone should have. Step outside in the morning and get five to ten minutes of morning sunlight.

51:08 SPEAKER_01: One wellness myth you wish would disappear.

51:12 SPEAKER_03: That you needed to count calories and focus on calories versus nutrition. One thing people should stop doing beating themselves up if they miss a workout, if they have a day where they don't eat as well as they want to. Enjoy life. Don't beat yourself up. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and it's not gonna be perfect all the time.

51:35 SPEAKER_00: One thing people should start doing prioritizing sleep.

51:46 SPEAKER_03: If that's one thing, and then why again, water, I'm gonna go back to the water. Take half your body weight in ounces, and that's the goal that you want to consume when it comes to drinking water on a daily basis.

51:58 SPEAKER_00: All right, so that was one and plus so many, it's hard to go one. Strength training or cardio.

52:09 SPEAKER_00: Strength training. Okay, all right. I'm gonna make you a little uncomfortable. You can't choose both. Sleep or another hour of productivity.

52:24 SPEAKER_03: I always say it depends. If I for me personally, if I haven't had enough of hours, I go for the extra hour of sleep.

52:31 SPEAKER_00: Okay. Scale weight or body function. Body function.

52:38 SPEAKER_00: Motivation or discipline? Ooh, discipline.

52:45 SPEAKER_01: What's one thing your 30 years from now self will thank you for doing today?

52:54 SPEAKER_00: Making my health a priority.

52:58 SPEAKER_01: Okay, Miss Shelley, I want you to finish this sentence.

53:01 SPEAKER_03: True wellness isn't about looking perfect, it's about feeling your best and having a quality of life and living a full life of joy and vitality.

53:15 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that so, so much. Miss Shelley, I want to end with this. You've spent more than four decades in this world of wellness. You've educated people, you've taught, you've coached, you've built a podcast, you've built community, you've created moms who flourished, and you've spent a huge portion of your life helping other people understand that taking care of themselves isn't selfish. So there's one person that's listening right now who has been putting themselves last. Maybe they're exhausted, maybe they've gained weight, maybe they've stopped moving, maybe they don't recognize themselves anymore, maybe they've been taking care of everybody else and completely forgotten about themselves.

53:58 SPEAKER_01: What do you want that person to hear today?

54:02 SPEAKER_03: I want that person to know that they matter, that their health matters, that they they have a significant role in this life. And it's important for them to know that they are worthy and they deserve to feel good and have a energy and a in a great quality of life. And I want to encourage them to prioritize themselves and just take one thing, one thing that they can do today that will get them one step closer to a healthier tomorrow. One thing, pick one thing, go for a walk 10 minutes, go outside for fresh sunshine in the morning, get to sleep a little bit early.

54:58 SPEAKER_03: Just pick one thing that's doable and simple that's gonna make a difference, but just know that you matter, your health matters, and taking care of you is so important for not just yourself, but your loved ones.

55:15 SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that message. Miss Shelley, thank you for being here. Warriors, if today's conversation gave you even one thing you can take into your life, don't just write it down. Use it because knowledge without action doesn't change your life. And here at the Warriors Haven podcast, we're not just trying to build bodies that look strong. We're building people who are strong enough to live the lives they've called to live. Make sure to connect with Ms. Shelley. Listen to the words of wellness. That's her podcast.

55:47 SPEAKER_01: And if you're a mom looking for community, mentorship, and support, I need you to go over and check out Moms Who Flourished. Ms. Shelley, thank you for joining me today. And is there a website or somewhere that our friends all over the world can connect with you that you can leave really quickly?

56:04 SPEAKER_03: Well, thank you, Jay, first and foremost. This has been fantastic having this conversation with you. You're you're incredible, and I've enjoyed it so much. And I would encourage anyone who's listening to Best Place right now is to find me over on Instagram at wellness with Shelley J or at Moms Who Flourish. And that is the best place. Send me a message. I'm I would love to hear from you, and I would love to find a way where how I can serve you.

56:31 SPEAKER_01: I love that. I love that. All right, friends, I'm gonna take that information, also put it in the show notes so that you're able to connect with Miss Shelley and inquire, maybe on some one-on-one coaching. I don't know, but Miss Shelley is fantastic over three decades in this space. She's got quite a bit of information, I'm sure she's willing to share and help us move into the next chapter of our lives. And so, friends, like I always end, stay strong, stay focused, stay ready.