065: How Your Phone Secretly Drains Energy and Kills Discipline (Fix It Now)

0:02 SPEAKER_00: Hey, let me have your attention for a quick second. Can I just tell you that your podcast isn't the problem? Your funnel is. If people are listening, watching, and engaging, but they're not taking the next step. You have a conversion problem. This October, I'm opening just 10 seats inside my funnel for podcast hosts and entrepreneurs. Ready to fix that. One month, one blueprint, one transformation. Follow the Warriors Haven podcast on social media because you're gonna want one of those seats with me.

0:44 SPEAKER_00: Now, let's get into the episode.

0:57 SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Warriors Haven Podcast, the place where discipline meets purpose and everyday people become unstoppable. I'm your host, Jaisha Sutherland, a retired Army drill sergeant, single mom, and the founder of the Warriors Haven. Around here, we talk fitness, mindset, and the mission of building a stronger you, mentally, physically, and financially. Because this isn't just about the gym. It's about life, leadership, and living on your terms. So gear up, lock in, and let's step into the haven where warriors are made.

2:08 SPEAKER_00: And today I want to talk about something that is probably sitting within three feet of you right now. Maybe it is in your hand. Maybe it is sitting beside you. Maybe it is charging across the room. Your phone. And before you think this episode is going to be another lecture about how technology is destroying our lives, let me stop you right there. I love technology. And you probably do too. Technology helps us work, it helps us communicate, it helps us build businesses, it helps us stay connected to people thousands of miles away.

2:50 SPEAKER_00: It helps us learn. It helps us create. It helps me bring this podcast to you. So the problem isn't technology. The problem is what happens when technology starts controlling our attention instead of us controlling it. Because there is a difference. And that difference can cost you something incredibly valuable. Your energy. Think about this. You wake up in the morning, the alarm goes off. Before your feet even touch the floor, you reach for your phone. You check your notifications. You look at your email.

3:31 SPEAKER_00: You check Instagram. Maybe you open Facebook. Maybe you see a text message. Maybe you see something that immediately irritates you. Maybe you see somebody else's success. Maybe you see bad news. Maybe you see something that makes you laugh. Maybe you see something that makes you angry. And before all of this happens, you're not even out of the bed. Your brain has already been asked to process a dozen different things. You haven't even had breakfast. You haven't moved your body. You haven't really taken a breath.

4:08 SPEAKER_00: You haven't decided what kind of day you're going to have. But your brain is already working. And then we wonder why we're tired. We wonder why we're distracted. We wonder why we can't focus. We wonder why we can't get ourselves to do the things we said we were going to do. We call ourselves lazy. We say we're unmotivated. We say we're burnt out. But sometimes you aren't lazy. Your attention is just exhausted. And today we're going to talk about that. Because I believe one of the biggest battles we are fighting today isn't happening in a gym.

4:46 SPEAKER_00: It isn't happening in an office. It isn't happening on a battlefield. It's happening inside our attention. And if you can't control your attention, you will have a very difficult time controlling your energy.

5:06 SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you a story. Let's call her Sarah. Sarah wakes up every morning with good intentions. She has goals. She wants to exercise. She wants to eat better. She wants to build her career. She wants to spend more time with her family. She wants to read.

5:33 SPEAKER_00: Her workday starts with email, then Zoom, then Slack, then another email, then a text, then another meeting, then a notification, then another notification, then somebody needs something. Then somebody sends her a message that starts with quick question. And we all know there is nothing quick about a quick question. So Sarah spends her entire day jumping from email to Slack to Zoom to her phone, back to email, back to her computer, back to her phone. By five o'clock, she technically hasn't done anything physically demanding, but she's exhausted.

6:18 SPEAKER_00: She closes her laptop and thinks, I don't have anything left. Not because she ran five miles, not because she lifted 200 pounds, not because she spent eight hours doing manual labor. Her brain has been switching lanes all day. And here's where this gets interesting. Research has found that notifications themselves can interrupt attention, even when you don't actually pick up your phone. One study found that simply receiving phone notifications disrupted performance on an attention-demanding task.

6:54 SPEAKER_00: Another field experiment found that reducing notification interruptions improved performance and reduced strain. So when your phone buzzes, your brain doesn't necessarily need to answer it for it to affect you. The interruption has already happened. Think about that. You could be writing, you could be working, you could be talking to your child, you could be exercising, you could be reading, and your phone buzzes. Your brain goes, What was that? That tiny moment seems harmless, but now your attention has moved, and that's the battlefield.

7:37 SPEAKER_00: Because your attention is one of the most valuable resources you own. Money can be earned, time cannot. And attention, once you give it away, you don't get that exact moment back.

8:03 SPEAKER_00: Your brain is constantly asking one question: What's important right now? It has systems that help you pay attention, notice changes, seek rewards, and respond to things that matter. And technology is very good at getting your attention. Why? Because many digital platforms are built around things your brain naturally cares about novelty, connection, reward, surprise, social approval, information. Your brain likes new things. Your brain likes rewards. Your brain likes the possibility that something interesting might happen.

8:47 SPEAKER_00: That's part of why you can tell yourself, I'm just going to check Instagram for five minutes. And somehow, 35 minutes disappears. You don't make a conscious decision to spend 30 minutes there. You simply kept receiving another interesting thing, another video, another post, another message, another notification, another scroll. And this is where dopamine enters the conversation. Now, I want to be very careful here because dopamine is often misunderstood. Dopamine is not simply the pleasure chemical, it's involved in motivation, learning, reward, and wanting.

9:30 SPEAKER_00: It helps your brain pay attention to things that might be worth pursuing. And according to Stanford psychiatrist Dr. Anna Lembeek, modern digital environments can take advantage of the brain's reward system through design features that encourage continued clicking, scrolling, and consumption. Think about an endless scroll. You don't know what the next video will be. You don't know what the next post will say. You don't know who liked your picture. You don't know who sent you a message. That uncertainty can keep you checking and checking and checking.

10:10 SPEAKER_00: That's why I want you to stop asking, why can't I put my phone down? And start asking, what has my brain learned to accept? Because your brain learns through repetition. That is neuroplexticity. Neuroplexicity simply means your brain can change based on your experiences and repeated behaviors. You repeat something enough, your brain gets better at that pattern. That's powerful. And it's not just true for negative habits. It means you can train your brain in a new direction. You can train your brain to focus.

10:50 SPEAKER_00: You can train your brain to tolerate boredom. You can train your brain to sit in silence. You can train your brain to finish one thing before starting another. You can train your brain to put the phone down. You can train your brain to be present. That's the warrior mindset. Not perfection, training. Here's where I want to challenge you. How often do you reach for your phone without actually knowing why? You're standing in line. Phone. You're watching television. Phone. You're eating. Phone. You're waiting for your coffee.

11:30 SPEAKER_00: Phone. You're bored. Phone. You're uncomfortable. Phone. You're avoiding something. Phone. You're trying to fall asleep. Phone. You're having an uncomfortable thought. Phone. And suddenly the phone isn't just a communication device. It's an escape device. And that changes everything. Because sometimes we aren't using technology because we need it. We're using it because we don't want to feel what we're feeling. Boredom, loneliness, anxiety, stress, uncertainty, discomfort. And every time we immediately reach for our phone, we may be teaching our brain whenever something feels uncomfortable, escape.

12:20 SPEAKER_00: That's a dangerous lesson. Because life is uncomfortable sometimes. Growth is uncomfortable. Discipline is uncomfortable. Starting over is uncomfortable. Having hard conversations is uncomfortable. Building a business is uncomfortable. Getting healthy is uncomfortable. Changing your identity is uncomfortable. If your automatic response to discomfort is distraction, you will never learn how to sit with discomfort long enough to move through it. And that's where technology can quietly affect discipline.

13:00 SPEAKER_00: Not because your phone is evil, but because your brain is learning what you repeatedly do. Now, friends, I want to talk about energy. We usually think of energy as something physical. Did I sleep? Did I eat? Did I exercise? Did I drink enough water? Those things matter, but there is another kind of energy: mental energy. Attention is expensive. Decision making is expensive. Constant switching is expensive. And digital environments can create a steady stream of small demands on your attention. Check this.

13:42 SPEAKER_00: Answer that. Look at this. Respond now. Don't miss this. Someone posted. Someone texted. Someone emailed. Someone needs you. Eventually, your brain starts living in a state of what's next? And that makes it difficult to be where you actually are. You're physically sitting at dinner, but mentally, you're somewhere else. You're working, but thinking about your phone. You're with your child, but checking your notifications. You're exercising, but thinking about work. You're in bed, but scrolling. Your body is in one place.

14:26 SPEAKER_00: Your attention is somewhere else. And that split can become exhausting. This is why I want you to think about technology as an energy budget. Every day you have a certain amount of attention. Where are you spending it? Because here's the uncomfortable question: are you spending your best energy on the things that matter most? Or are you giving your best energy away because your day hasn't even started yet? Now, let's talk about something we cannot ignore: sleep. Because you can spend the entire day fighting for your energy and then sabotage it at night.

15:10 SPEAKER_00: You get into bed, you tell yourself, I'm just gonna scroll for a few minutes, then it's midnight, then it's midnight 30, then it's 0-1 in the morning, and tomorrow morning, you're exhausted. Research has found meaningful associations between electronic media and poorer sleep outcomes. A large meta-analysis covering 55 papers and more than 41,000 participants found that electronic media use was associated with decreased sleep quality and more sleep problems, with stronger associations with problematic use.

15:51 SPEAKER_00: Other research has also found an association between problematic smartphone use and poor sleep, anxiety, and depression. Although much of this research is observational, so we should be careful about saying the phone directly causes these outcomes. But here's what I know. You don't need a scientific paper to understand what happens when you stay up scrolling until 0130 in the morning and you have to wake up at 0.6. You're tired. And when you're tired, discipline becomes harder, your patience becomes shorter, your cravings can become stronger, your focus becomes harder, your emotional control becomes harder.

16:35 SPEAKER_00: So protecting your sleep is not just a wellness habit, it is an energy strategy. And sometimes the most disciplined thing you can do is put the phone down. Now, I want to make something very clear. I'm not telling you to throw your phone away, I'm not telling you to quit social media, I'm not telling you to disappear from the internet. That wouldn't make sense for most of us. Technology is a tool, and a warrior doesn't destroy the tool, a warrior learns how to use it. That's the difference. Your phone should serve your mission, it should not become your mission.

17:17 SPEAKER_00: Your notifications should serve you, they shouldn't command you. Social media should support your life, it shouldn't replace your life. Technology should expand your world, it shouldn't shrink it. So let's build some boundaries. I want to give you five rules you can start using today. This is one of my favorites. Don't wake up and immediately let your phone tell you what matters. Before you open the digital world, open your own, take a breath, drink some water, stretch, walk, journal, pray, meditate, sit in silence, look outside, spend five minutes with yourself, then decide what your day needs.

18:12 SPEAKER_00: Because if your first thought every morning is, what does everybody else need from me? You're starting the day in reaction mode. Instead, ask, what do I need to accomplish today? That's intentional living.

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18:31 SPEAKER_00: The second rule: you don't need 47 apps interrupting you. You don't need every notification, you don't need every email immediately, you don't need your phone buzzing every three minutes. Go through your notifications. Ask, does this deserve access to my attention? If the answer is no, turn it off. Research supports the basic idea here. Reducing notification interruptions can reduce strain and improve performance. You don't have to become unavailable. You just have to stop being constantly interrupted.

(Cont.) 065: How Your Phone Secretly Drains Energy and Kills Discipline (Fix It Now)

19:10 SPEAKER_00: The third rule: pick a time. Maybe it's 8:30, maybe it's nine, maybe it's 10. The exact time isn't the point. The boundary is. Create a period where your brain knows we are done consuming, no work email, no endless scrolling, no social media rabbit holes, no checking what everybody else is doing. Give your brain somewhere quiet to land. Dr. Anna Lembeki has discussed digital fasting and reducing excess to highly stimulating digital experiences as one way people can interrupt compulsive patterns and rethink how they use their devices.

19:52 SPEAKER_00: Start small. You don't have to disappear for 30 days. Start with 30 minutes. Then an hour, build the muscle. The fourth rule? This one is huge. You can't simply say, I'm gonna stop scrolling. Your brain needs something else. If you usually scroll before bed, read, stretch, journal, take a shower, listen to calming music, talk to somebody. If you reach for your phone when you're bored, walk. If you check social media when you're stressed, take 10 slow breaths. If you use your phone when you're lonely, call somebody.

20:36 SPEAKER_00: Don't just remove the behavior, replace it. Because your brain isn't asking, how can I stop? It's asking, what are we doing instead? And the fifth rule: this might be the most important one. Go outside, take a walk, cook, lift weights, have dinner with somebody, play with your kids, go to church, join a club, read a physical book, have a conversation without your phone sitting on the table, laugh with people, make memories that don't require a camera. Because your life is not supposed to be experienced through a screen.

21:16 SPEAKER_00: Your phone can document your life, but it cannot live your life for you.

21:25 SPEAKER_00: Now I want to give you another challenge, and I'm calling it the Warrior Digital Reset. You have two options. If you've already had the advanced version and are ready for this one, try 24 hours without recreational screen time. Not work, not something you genuinely need. I'm talking about the scrolling, the endless checking, the mindless consumption, the constant refreshing. And if it's 24 hours feels impossible, good. Pay attention to that. You don't have to judge yourself. Just notice because sometimes awareness is the beginning of change.

22:10 unknown: Dr.

22:10 SPEAKER_00: Limbecki has discussed a 24-hour digital fast as a way to interrupt habitual digital consumption and observe what happens when access is removed. She also notes that people can experience discomfort or cravings when they step away from highly reinforcing digital habits. But here's the important part: don't spend those 24 hours sitting on the couch staring at the wall. Replace the screen. Go outside. Move your body. Talk to somebody. Read. Cook. Create. Rest. Think. Let your brain experience something different.

22:54 SPEAKER_00: And here's another exercise. Tonight, put your phone somewhere you cannot reach it from your bed. Not underneath your pillow, not on the nightstand, not beside your head, across the room. And when you wake up tomorrow, don't touch it for 30 minutes. Just 30 minutes. Notice what happens. Do you feel uncomfortable? Do you automatically reach for it? Do you wonder what you are missing? Do you feel calmer? Do you think more clearly? Do you have more time? Do you feel more present? Don't judge the answer.

23:34 SPEAKER_00: Study yourself. Because you are your own experiment. And this is what I love about the warrior mindset. We don't shame ourselves. We observe. We learn. We adjust. We train. And now I want to go deeper because I don't think this episode is really about phones. I think it's about identity. Who are you becoming? Because every repeated action is casting a vote for the person you are becoming. If you constantly practice distraction, you become more comfortable with distraction. If you practice focus, you become more comfortable with focus.

24:13 SPEAKER_00: If you practice immediate gratification, you become more dependent on immediate gratification. If you practice delayed gratification, you become stronger at waiting. If you practice escaping discomfort, you become better at escaping. If you practice facing discomfort, you become stronger at facing it. That's why discipline isn't something you either have or don't have. Discipline is something you practice. And technology gives us thousands of opportunities every day to practice it. Every notification is an opportunity.

24:50 SPEAKER_00: Every urge to check your phone is an opportunity. Every time you decide, not right now, you are practicing self-control. Every time you finish your workout before checking social media, you're practicing discipline. Every time you put the phone away, listen to the person sitting in front of you, you're practicing presence. Every time you choose sleep over scrolling, you're practicing self-respect. That's bigger than technology. That's identity. So before we close today, I want you to do something.

25:25 SPEAKER_00: Take out a piece of paper and write down four questions. What digital activity drains the most energy from me? Be honest. Social media, email, news, streaming, texting, work, gaming, scrolling. The second question: When do I use technology out of habit instead of necessity? Is it first thing in the morning? When you're bored? When you're stressed? Before bed? While eating? The third, what would I do with an extra hour of attention every day? Not screen time. Attention. Would you exercise? Build your business?

26:17 SPEAKER_00: Read? Sleep? Spend time with your children? Work on your goals? The fourth, what boundary would give me the most energy back? Maybe it's no phone in the bedroom. Maybe it's no notifications. Maybe it's one hour without your phone each evening. Maybe it's a 30-minute morning buffer. Maybe it's a technology-free Sunday. Choose one. Not ten, one. Because transformation doesn't require you to change your entire life tonight. It requires you to change the next decision. So for this week, here's your challenge.

26:59 SPEAKER_00: I want you to complete what I'm calling the seven-day attention recovery challenge. For the next seven days, don't touch your phone for the first 30 minutes after waking. Turn off non-essential notifications. Create a digital curfew at night. And spend at least 30 minutes every day doing something that does not require a screen. Walking, reading, training, cooking, talking, thinking, creating, living? And every night, ask yourself, how much energy did I get back today? Not how many hours was I on my phone?

27:41 SPEAKER_00: That's useful information. But I want the bigger question. How do you feel? Was your mind quieter? Did you sleep better? Were you more focused? Did you have more patience? Did you feel more present? Did you get more done? Did you connect with somebody? Because that's what we're really measuring. Not screen time, life time. And friends, here's what I want you to remember as we leave today's episode. Technology is not your enemy, but unmanaged attention can become one. Your phone isn't the problem.

28:21 SPEAKER_00: Your relationship with your phone is what deserves your attention. And you don't need to become anti-technology. You need to become intentional because the goal isn't to disconnect from the world. The goal is to reconnect with your life. Reconnect with your body, reconnect with your people, reconnect with your goals, reconnect with your thoughts, reconnect with your purpose, reconnect with yourself. And maybe that's the real warrior battle. Not fighting the technology, but fighting your attention.

28:56 SPEAKER_00: Because wherever your attention goes, your energy follows. And wherever your energy goes, your life follows. So protect your attention, protect your energy, protect your peace. And remember, you don't have to respond to everything that asks for your attention. You get to decide what deserves it. That is discipline. That is energy management. And that is part of becoming the person you were meant to become. If today's episode gave you something to think about, send it to somebody who's constantly saying, I'm exhausted, but I don't know why.

29:39 SPEAKER_00: Maybe they don't need another productivity hack. Maybe they need their attention back. And if you're listening to the Warriors Haven podcast for the first time, make sure you subscribe, follow the show, and leave a review. Because here at the Warriors Haven, we're not just talking about motivation. We're talking about the invisible forces shaping your life and learning how to take back your power. So until next time, stay strong, stay focused, stay ready. I'm Jay, favorite Jewel Sergeant, and I'll catch you on the next episode.